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Centenarian's marriage tip? Put your partner first

Kaya Black & Rumeana Jahangir
BBC News, Manchester
BBC Tessa Gay smiles for the camera. She is wearing a predominantly black dress with light blue circles BBC
Tessa Gay recently celebrated her 105th birthday

A centenarian who was married for 74 years said the key to a happy relationship is to "put one another first".

Tessa Gay recently celebrated her 105th birthday with family and staff at her care home in Manchester, where she received a special birthday card from the King, five years after receiving one from the late Queen Elizabeth II.

Great-grandmother Mrs Gay, who met her late husband Jack when she was 19, described him as a "lovely man - very considerate".

And she revealed: "You wouldn't know it from the outside, but he was a very soft man underneath - I was number one!"

Image taken of Tessa Gay and her husband in their wedding outfits at a photograpy studio. He is on the left wearing a smart black suit and grey tie while she is in a white dress and wearing a floral headband and wedding veil behind her, holding a big bouquet of flowers.
Tessa Gay and her late husband Jack were married for 74 years

When it comes to relationships, she advised: "If you can agree, that's the main thing.

"If you can agree on most subjects, that's half the battle. But if you're at loggerheads with one another, it's a rocky road."

She said she believed that if couples can be "more or less happy with one another's views... you've made a happy marriage".

Ultimately, though, Mrs Gay said it was all about consideration.

"Put one another first," she said. "I think that's the main thing.

"As long as you put him first, or he puts you first, then everything falls into place."

Black-and-white holiday photograph of Mrs Gay looking sideways and grinning while posing against a backdrop of palm trees and shrubbery.
Mrs Gay, who was born in 1920, says she was "always interested in fashion"

Born in the Longsight area of the city, Mrs Gay says she has seen "a great change" in Manchester during her lifetime.

"Of course, we didn't have skyscrapers... there was Lewis's, which was always a very well-known firm, and Woolworths," she remembered.

"There were some very nice dresses and very nice fashion houses all on Market Street, from Deansgate right up to Piccadilly Gardens."

Mrs Gay said her tastes were inspired by her older sister Angela, who owned a clothes shop in the city centre.

'Doing very well'

Mrs Gay secured her first job when she was 15, fulfilling mail orders.

"There was a lot of women and they can be very catty - all women together," she said.

She said they "got on very well" together, though, adding: "I was never falling out with anybody.

"I don't like trouble. Well, none of us do but I always try to be friendly with most people and on the whole, it was all very good."

She later worked in the aviation sector, saying: "There was a lot of clerical work but I enjoyed it because you were working with men - there was no cattiness."

Mrs Gay has two children and five grandchildren, including three who live in Canada.

She also has seven great-grandchildren.

"I am doing very well," she said.

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