'Traumatic' birth left mum with PTSD and depression

A woman said she felt "robbed" of her birth experience after a "painful" and "traumatic" delivery left her with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and post-natal depression.

Claire Barlow, from Swansea, gave birth to her 10lb 3oz son, Osian, who was born unresponsive and taken from her immediately due to complications.

She did not meet him for two and a half hours, and said during that time she feared he had died.

Swansea Bay University Health Board has been asked to comment.

Claire said she knew Osian was a big baby but was led to believe his size could vary, so she "gaslighted" herself into thinking he would be smaller.

She now believes a caesarean section would have been safer, but felt pressured to trust in her own "empowered" choices at the time.

During labour, Claire had meconium in her waters and Osian's heartbeat was difficult to find, leaving her feeling like she had no choice but to "go with the flow".

After he was born unresponsive, Claire began to bleed heavily and was rushed away for surgery to remove her placenta - an operation she later found out was not necessary.

Meanwhile, Osian, who is now 13 months old, was taken to another room with her husband.

"I remember thinking I've not met him, I've never seen him, I didn't know what he looked like - just 10 people looking after him and 10 people looking after me," she told BBC Radio Wales Breakfast.

As staff worked around her, Claire said she feared the worst: "I remember thinking something bad was happening and just my luck he [Osian] is in a different room potentially dead, and my husband was in a different room with my son and he thinks I'm dead," she added.

Claire, who shared her story as part of Birth Trauma Awareness Week, said there was a lack of communication during the birth, and no one had the "common decency" to tell her whether Osian was alive or even show her a photo.

Several months later, when she spoke to the hospital, she said they admitted there had been no reason not to bring him to her.

"This is the part that's really hurt me," Claire said.

"I could deal with the rest, I could deal with the thought of nearly losing my life - but it's the fact that I felt like I was robbed.

"That initial skin to skin contact I didn't have.

"It was really hard to have that connection with him, or even to try and breastfeed with him," she added.

After the birth, Osian was diagnosed with tongue tie, jaundice and hyperglycaemia, while Claire lost nearly 1.7 litres of blood.

She described her recovery as difficult: "You're kind of made to feel like you've got to get on with it."

"I felt like I didn't have that opportunity to really settle. I was in hospital for five days and that environment isn't the best as it is," she added.

On day three, Claire said it was a "really hard day" and she remembers thinking she was going to be sectioned or "I was going to have my baby taken off me".

"I was having all these massive emotions and I couldn't process at the time," she said.

Claire said Osian is doing "incredible" and is the "happiest baby", adding that the support of her family has been important in her recovery.

She continues to take daily medication for PTSD.

"The midwives told me lots of people feel the same, but I don't understand why no one talks about it that's why I'm speaking out today," Claire said.

"I just want everyone to know that time does heal, and for anyone going through a traumatic birth - whether it's today, tomorrow, or months later - it really does get better," she said.